You never know where life will lead

So this past week was full of challenges here. I did get to a lot of meetins during the first few days of the week from like Saturday (the 18th) thru Tues (the 21) well 4 and for me that's a lot. Then Tuesday night real late I started to throw up (almost thought I was going to have my mom take me to the er). I was sick Weds but still went to ROCK group cause I knew they needed an extra person. Weds night I stayed at my parents incase my mom needed to take me to the er. Thurs I layed on their couch all day and when my mom got home she said don't you think we should go to the er. I tried to fight about this and then decided I was too sick to fight any more. We went to the er and I'm grateful we did. My small bowel was slowing (and if i had waited just a few more days I could have been in the same spot 2 yrs ago where i needed surgery) and some of my blood work was way off. They admitted me Thurs night and I was in until Sat with fluids coming in through an iv. By Friday night I was feeling somewhat better but not enough to go home. Friday the dr's came in and said one of my blood tests was off and it was indicating that there was some sort of bleeding going on and if it dropped to an 8 (at this point was 8.3 or so) that I would need a blood transfusion and possilbe surgery to see where the bleeding was coming from. This didn't sound plessant in my book. I remember feeling so scared but then I remembered to pray. I prayed just to feel calm with what ever had to happen and that I would let him take this over and I would be obedient. As soon as I said that prayer I felt calm and knew everything would be ok. The next morning when they took the next blood test (they were in every 6 hrs to take blood) they found that the level went up and were happy and I got to go home. I am so grateful to have a loving Heavenly Father who will not leave me for anything. He is just waiting me for to follow him and to live by his commandments. I am so grateful for the people he has put in my lives and continues to put in my life all the time. I am so grateful for the blessing of families.

Very grateful this morning

Today is the day before my 30th birthday and I am truely grateful for many things in my life. First I am grateful that I made it to 30. I have done things in my life where I could have easily died but yet I am here and I take this to mean that there is something left for me to do here on this earth. I am grateful today more so for my birthmother. She had to make one of the hardest if not the hardest decision to put me up for adoption. I at times wish this would have been an open adoption but I am grateful that she still kept my wellbeing first and decided to give me what she couldn't. I am grateful for my adoptive family. I may not always get along with them but they have gone through hell and back with me and haven't given up on me ever. I know as a teen there were many times they would have liked to say they were done but they weren't able too. If there is anything as a mom (birth or adoptive) that would be my mom cause she has the same amount of love as any mother who birthed their child. I am grateful for my little sister. While we don't always get along she makes me laugh and I honestly don't know where I would be without her in my life. I am grateful to have a loving Heavenly Father who wants me to return to live with him and that he sent his son to atone for my sins. I am grateful to be clean and sober. The last month has been hell but i have made it through it clean and that is only through the help of God and my support systems and friends.

A very humbling experience and the rest of the weekend so far....

Yesterday was Good Friday and I went to the local Methodist Church (where I help with the ROCK group) for their Good Friday Service. I had made mention to my cousin who was in charge of the service that I was coming and if he needed help I would be there. Well I walked in and he asked me to come with him. I walked with him into where they hold worship. They were doing a drama based on good friday. So he told me that in the play the guard was going to grab someone (hence why he wanted to talk to me) from the crowd to finish carring the cross to the front of the church. The church service started with a cross walk (which is where they walked from the park to the church carring a cross stoping at various times to pray) it ended outside the church and then we went in to have the worship part. So I sit down and the guard pulls me out of the pew and shoves me towards the cross. I had never tried to pick up the cross before this and when I tried I relized how heavy the cross was. It made me think about how Christ having just been tried, beaten, convicted and sentenced to death still carried that cross. I know for me carrying the cross to the from was heavy but I can't imagine the pain the Savior went through carring it. I am so grateful for his unselfish act of dying for my sins and making it possible for me to return to live agian with my Heavenly Father. After this experience I went home and thought for a while. I then went to my friend's house where they were throwing me a birthday party. It touches me deeply that I truely have friends who care about me for me and love me no matter what. It's beyond awesome. I had so much fun. They put 30 Candles (since I am turning 30 on the 15th) and lit them. I had a really hard time blowing them out cause some were trick candles. It was a lot of fun though...... I am beyond grateful....

It's been a very challenging but fun filled week

So this week I have been sicker than a dog but its still been an awesome week. I have been going through pictures from over the course of my life and realize how much I miss people I have had contact with over that course. I look back over pictures from when I lived away from home and realized that those times only made me stronger in my life and I would be where I am now if I hadn't gone through them. I am very thankful today because of all the people God has put in my life and continues to put in my life.

The video I made for my grandma

Here is the video I made for my grandma as a tribute to her for her 80th Birthday. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did making it. I am truely grateful that she is my grandma and that I have many memories of her.

A busy but awesome weekend.....

This past weekend was super busy. Usually I would have watched general confence but this year wasn't able too but hey it's on the internet so I can watch it on it. But my grandma (my dad's mom the one I am close too) turned 80 on Sat. We had a family party with all her children (3 and their spouses), my counsin and his girlfirend, Jessie (my little sister), me, and her brother and his wife. My grandma and her husband here also there. I had fun helping getting ready for it. That was on Sat. Then yesterday the Methodist church where she attends threw her a surprise party (with which she was very surprised). It was awesome. I made her a video for her 80th birthday and at some point will try to post it. I love my grandma so much. I then yesterday met with my AA sponsor and we went over the first 3 steps. And she told me I need to get started on my 4th. Kind of nervous about this one becasue its the one I always stop at but i am going to take it slow and i know i can do it. Anways that's how my weekend went.

Let me tell you about the group I help with called the ROCK group!

I started a few weeks after the group started at the Creston United Methodist church. ROCK stands for Radically Outragious Christian Kids. We have kids that go to different churchs and come to the Methodist church after school on Weds night. They are from K-4th grades. It's a lot of fun. Yesterday they were wild I tell you. We let them get up and scream and run around twice just to get rid of their engery. I really have grown to love these kids. At first I was standoffish and didn't really become part of the group (it takes me time to warm up to people) and then its now like I am a part of the group. It's awesome to see these kids change and grow. The depth of knowledge these kids know are amazing. They show the pure love of Christ often and its amazing to see. I am glad I have had the oppurtunity to be a part of this group and it has helped me especially over the last week to realize how I am a daughter of God and no matter what he loves me. He loves me just for me and it doesn't matter how many times I fall or what happens he still loves me. I am grateful!